Southern Iceland - mikeseehagel.com
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today when i was out postering for my internship i stopped by a little marketplace where i always put up a poster and i noticed by the flower section out front that they had freesias. they’re my favorite flower and really hard to find in stores so i got really excited. there was an employee working out front so out of curiosity i asked him how much they cost because i couldn’t locate the price. He was out front unloading a box and looked up at me, then the flowers, and just smiled “oh those? that depends! who are they for?” I told him how freesias were my favorite and i could never find them so i was just curious as the the cost. “sometimes just buying yourself flowers is something i do. it’s selfish, but beautiful and smells so good.” he just laughed “for you young lady, you can have them. a beautiful girl deserves nice flowers. it’s not selfish.” i was speechless. i did a dumb thing and started tearing up. i thanked him and told him that my day wasn’t the greatest since i didn’t get accepted to my major and this seriously made my day. we talked for awhile after that. His name is Marco and we just talked about the importance of kindness and selfless love. That the things in life we are so concerned with are so small. it won’t effect the bigger picture. “i’m just glad that giving you some cheap flowers could turn your day around” he joked. but he gave me more than just cheap, beautiful flowers.
it also made me realize how much i try and act strong even when i’m hurting. but it’s not weak or a sign of defeat to show my emotions and how i feel. it’s how i’m wired. sometimes holding in my hurt makes me more bitter and cold to the world. sometimes i need to cry. to be more honest with myself and others. In my head i felt so dumb for even having the thought of asking about the flowers. it felt silly and useless. but it wasn’t. it’s okay to be sad. it’s okay to want flowers.
Marco made my day and his love was something i really needed. when i was walking back to school form the internship i noticed a homeless woman by the bus stop and gave her the flowers. i know it made her day too by the shocked look she gave me. she smiled and told me “lady, i haven;t received these in years. they’re beautiful” It wasn’t the flowers that i needed today, it was the gesture and kindness that Marco shared. I hope the homeless woman can appreciate them and the action as much as i did as well.
when you’re feelin americana
Mercury
There’s a sandbox in my head.
I build. I pursue.
Each grain falls through.
Like a great cascade.
Melting away
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